Date published: September 16, 2026
What’s the difference between a Shared Lives carer and a befriender?
Professional Care Workers Week (14th – 18th September) is a chance to celebrate everyone working across adult social care. Social care weaves the web of relationships and support in our local communities that we can draw on to live our lives in the way that we want to, with meaning, purpose and connection, whatever our age or stage of life.
This week we’re celebrating more than 10,000 Shared Lives carers across the UK who open up their homes and offer their relational skills, community connections and professional expertise to nearly 10,000 people. It’s also a good opportunity to answer one of the questions we’re asked most often about Shared Lives.
“Is a Shared Lives carer the same as a befriender?”
The short answer is no.
Why this matters for Live More
Understanding the difference between Shared Lives and befriending is especially important when people hear about Live More with Shared Lives.
Our Live More programme matches people living with dementia with a Shared Lives carer who shares their interests, helping them stay active, connected and doing the things they enjoy, while giving family carers regular, trusted support.
From the outside, it can look similar to befriending because relationships are central to the approach.
The difference is that every arrangement is supported by a regulated Shared Lives scheme. Carers are trained, approved and receive ongoing support, giving families reassurance while building relationships that develop over time. Because Shared Lives carers combine professional expertise with a focus on trust and relationships, the support they provide can adapt as someone’s needs change, with ongoing support from their local Shared Lives scheme.
Elaine, a Shared Lives carer in Stockport, knows the difference those relationships make. After years in more structured care roles, Shared Lives gives her the freedom to support people in a more personal way.
“I can do things with them, not just for them,” she says. “They don’t see me as a carer,” she adds. “They see me as a friend. It’s about friendship, it’s about being there.”
More than companionship
Like befriending, Shared Lives starts with getting to know someone and building a relationship. Support is tailored to each person and can include helping someone build confidence, develop life skills, maintain or become more independent, and do things together that they enjoy, with people and in places they know and love.
For Lorraine (main picture, with Florence), Shared Lives offered a way to build on the relationship she’d already developed through befriending.
After working as a social worker and volunteering as a befriender, she discovered Shared Lives and realised it would allow her to continue supporting Florence while giving her the chance to enjoy family life and experiences beyond her usual routine.
For the past 16 years, Florence has stayed with Lorraine for two nights every other month. They might spend time walking Lorraine’s dog, visiting the cinema or heading to Lorraine’s family farm.
“Giving someone the opportunity to have one-to-one time or experience family life is so rewarding,” says Lorraine. “The person you support will become a friend, a really good friend. And it can just be a weekend once a month or even less – it doesn’t have to take over your life.”
Relationships that grow over time
Every Shared Lives arrangement looks different, but relationships are always at the heart of them. Over time, carers get to know the person they support, what matters to them and how best to support them.
For Joanne and Calvin, Shared Lives is about welcoming someone into their family life.
“We love being Shared Lives carers because it lets us make a real, meaningful difference every single day,” they say. “Opening our home and life to someone means we can offer safe, personalised support.”
Donna feels the same.
“We don’t think of Michael as someone who lives with us,” she says. “This is his home too. He’s part of our family.”
Read more:
Could Shared Lives be right for you?
Shared Lives carers come from all kinds of backgrounds. Some have worked in care before, while others have experience in completely different careers.
Joseph spent 16 years as a prison officer before becoming a Shared Lives carer.
“The experience that life affords is all you need,” he says.
He believes many more people could become Shared Lives carers than they realise.
“If you have anyone in your life that you love, family, friends, anyone. If you give to charity, either your time or money or both, if you feel empathy towards people who are less fortunate than yourself, if you have an open mind and heart, then you are one of those certain types of people.”
If you’d like to become a Shared Lives carer, you’ll go through an approval process, receive training and join a local Shared Lives scheme that will support you throughout your journey.
Find out more about becoming a Shared Lives carer at Start Your Shared Life.
