“I feel privileged to be a Shared Lives carer”: Why Lorraine wants to shout about Shared Lives

For the past 16 years, Lorraine has welcomed Florence into her home for a two-night break every other month through Positive Futures’ Families Matter Shared Lives service.

Shared Lives isn’t just for people who want to offer full-time support. Many Shared Lives carers provide short breaks, day support or occasional stays, helping people build relationships and enjoy new experiences while fitting support around their own lives.

Before becoming a Shared Lives carer, Lorraine worked as a social worker and volunteered as a befriender. It was through those roles that she got to know Florence, who lives in a residential home for people with a learning disability.

When Lorraine heard about Shared Lives, she realised it offered a way to continue spending time together while providing Florence with opportunities to enjoy time away from her usual routine. “I liked the sound of the flexibility Shared Lives offered. Becoming a Shared Lives carer meant I could have Florence over to my house and do weekends away at my family’s farm.”

Lorraine knew that Florence didn’t have strong family connections and felt it would be valuable for her to spend time in a home environment. Sixteen years later, Florence still visits Lorraine for a two-night break every other month.

Friday evenings often begin with dinner out, while Saturday mornings start with filtered coffee and one of Florence’s favourite breakfasts – fried eggs, toast and brown sauce. The rest of the weekend depends on what Florence feels like doing. There might be walks with Lorraine’s dog Sassie, a trip to the cinema, dinner at a favourite restaurant or an evening at home watching films and listening to 80s music.

Some weekends are spent at Lorraine’s family farm, where Florence has built a close relationship with Lorraine’s mum and developed a particular fondness for her Sunday chicken dinners.

Florence is now 56 and, according to Lorraine, is great company. “She is a very caring person, always asking if I’m okay and giving me a hug if she thinks I’m looking down. She has a brilliant sense of humour and loves to laugh.”

Over the years, Lorraine has watched Florence enjoy new experiences and build connections with the people around her. One memory that stands out is celebrating one of Florence’s milestone birthdays. “There was a big party arranged for her in a hotel. Florence got her make-up done, dressed up and was so happy. All her family were there with presents, and it was such a joyful occasion.”

Like any relationship, there can be challenges and Lorraine has learned how important it is to offer patience, reassurance and support during difficult moments. But for Lorraine, Shared Lives has become an important part of life. “I feel privileged to do this. I didn’t think I’d get so much out of it. It’s also brought lots of joy into my mum’s life.”

Growing up on a farm, family and community were always important to Lorraine. Those values later shaped her career in social work and eventually led her to Shared Lives.

Looking back, she says one of the most rewarding things has been seeing the difference that regular breaks, friendship and shared experiences can make. “Florence has really enriched my life. My family loves seeing her and she has enriched their lives too.”

Lorraine believes one of the biggest misconceptions about Shared Lives is that people think they need specialist experience or that it will take over their lives. “Anyone can become a Shared Lives carer. You don’t need experience – you just need to be open.”

She is particularly keen to highlight the flexibility Shared Lives can offer. “Giving someone the opportunity to have one-to-one time or experience family life is so rewarding. The person you support will become a friend, a really good friend. And it can just be a weekend once a month or even less – it doesn’t have to take over your life.”

When asked to sum up her experience as a Shared Lives carer, Lorraine says: “It’s been so wonderful and joyous, and my life has been enriched beyond what I could imagine. I just love it.”

If you’re interested in becoming a Shared Lives carer, visit www.startyoursharedlife.today and get in touch with your local Shared Lives scheme to find out more.

Get involved with this year’s Shared Lives Week and support us to ‘Shout about Shared Lives’ and ‘tell one person’ so that more people can be supported, and more lives can change.