“It’s just a good thing to do”: how Eddie is supporting people through Live More

Eddie has been a Shared Lives carer with Oldham Shared Lives for 19 years. Two young men live with him long term, and he also has a respite room for people who stay for shorter breaks. Everyone he supports has a learning disability, and the age range is wide – from young people to older adults. “We all get on,” he said. “We all respect each other, and it works.”

Before Shared Lives, Eddie worked in different roles across social care, including supported housing, outreach and delivering meals on wheels. After his wife died, he found himself living alone in a big house. Someone suggested he could support young men and help them build life skills. “I thought that sounds like a good idea. I like to make a difference.” he said.

Eddie first heard about Live More through one of his care coordinators, who asked if he would be interested in supporting people living with dementia. The programme was explained as a way to give family members a regular break, while supporting people living with dementia to get out and do things they enjoy. The idea appealed to him straight away. “There’s a need for it, obviously,” he said. “I had no second thoughts.”

Eddie already had some experience of supporting people living with dementia. In a previous role, he helped people get to and from day centres and spent time with them during the day. That experience helped him feel confident. For people who are new to this kind of support, Shared Lives offers training and ongoing guidance to help build skills and confidence.

Eddie now supports two men through Live More: Don, who lives with his wife Pauline, and Graham, who lives with his wife Theresa.

He initially had introductory visits at each family’s home. “We sat down, had a cup of tea and a chat, and took it from there,” Eddie said. The meetings were a chance to learn about Don and Graham – their personalities, what they enjoyed, how they might respond to different situations, and any practical things that would help. The visits also helped the families get to know him. “It reassured them,” Eddie said.

Eddie has been supporting Don for several months, usually on Tuesdays. He calls Pauline the night before to agree a time that works for Don. Their time together usually last between three and four hours.

“If it’s fine weather, we’ll go on a good walk,” Eddie said. “Either in the country or in the local parks.” If the weather is poor, they visit garden centres or somewhere they can stay dry. “Don loves to touch things and look at things,” Eddie said. “He’ll buy flowers or bulbs.” They often finish with coffee and cake in a café.

Don is a former school teacher and sometimes bumps into people who know him. “I don’t know whether he remembers them, but they know him,” Eddie said. “He’ll have a little chat.”

Graham’s support looks different as he is further along in his dementia. Their time together is usually shorter, around two hours, and they often go for coffee and cake.

There can be challenges but, in these moments, Eddie knows what to do. “Just have patience,” he said. “A calm, reassuring voice. I try to turn things into a joke and smile, just try and reassure him.”

For Eddie, the support has different benefits for Don and Graham. Don clearly enjoys getting out, walking and chatting. Graham may not show enjoyment in the same way, but the support still matters.

“I enjoy me and Don having a conversation,” he said. “I enjoy the camaraderie we have. I know Don looks forward to it. Graham probably does too but can’t express himself.”

Eddie sees the biggest impact for Graham’s wife, Theresa. “I look at this as giving his wife a break for a couple of hours,” he said. “She really, really appreciates it.”

He sees the same with Pauline. “It gives her a chance to nip to the shops without having to worry,” he said. “Do a bit of shopping, visit a friend, get on with the day.”

He says the impact on the families is clear. “Going off what they tell me, it makes a massive amount of difference,” he said. “They really appreciate me.”

Eddie believes more Shared Lives carers could support people living with dementia, but confidence can be a barrier. “People probably shy away from certain situations; worry it might be a bit too much for them.”

He believes familiarity would help. Meeting people living with dementia in relaxed settings – such as tea parties, gatherings or group sessions – could help other Shared Lives carers build confidence and feel more comfortable.

Live More has made a huge difference to Eddie. “I’m picking skills up along the way that I can use further down the line.” He also values the support around him. His Shared Lives coordinator regularly checks in, and he has taken part in meet-ups with other Shared Lives carers, sharing ideas and learning from each other. “It’s got me out,” he said. “It’s given me a focus, it’s enjoyable. It’s just a good thing to do.”

As Live More grows, we need more people like Eddie to step forward. You don’t need formal experience – just time, patience and an interest in people. With the right support, you can help people stay connected to the things that matter, while giving families a break they can rely on.

Find out more: Live More: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.