Date published: June 18, 2026
“Michael isn’t someone who lives with us, he’s part of our family” – Donna and Michael’s Shared Lives story
After more than a decade as a foster carer, helping young people navigate some of the most important years of their lives, Donna thought she understood what it meant to provide care, stability and belonging. But four years ago, she discovered Shared Lives and found a new chapter she never expected.
Today, Donna, her husband Stephen and the person they support, Michael, share a busy family home filled with laughter, routines and plenty of happy music. “We don’t think of Michael as someone who lives with us,” says Donna. “This is his home too. He’s part of our family.”
From fostering to Shared Lives
Donna became a full-time foster carer in 2012, caring for young people aged 11 to 18. “It comes with so many joys but also some deep challenges,” she says. “But you learn from every experience.” Her days revolved around school runs, homework, teaching life skills and helping young people prepare for adulthood.
The introduction to Shared Lives came naturally when one of the young people she had supported turned 18 and moved into a Shared Lives arrangement. Wanting to learn more, Donna and Stephen did their research and met with the team at New Directions Shared Lives scheme. “Everyone was very supportive,” says Donna.
There were no major worries or misconceptions. Instead, they saw Shared Lives as another opportunity to provide a caring family environment for someone who could benefit from it.
Starting the day with music
Life in the household begins with a routine that sets the tone for the day. “When Michael comes down to breakfast, we put our happy music on in the kitchen and have a really good catch-up,” says Donna. It’s a simple moment, but one that reflects the warmth of family life that Shared Lives creates.
Michael leads a busy life, with activities and voluntary work filling most days of the week. Breakfast often becomes a chance to hear about what he’s been doing, what he’s looking forward to, and what’s coming next.
Michael helps prepare meals, sets the table and enjoys being part of everyday family routines. “We work as a team really effectively,” Donna says.
A home filled with joy
“Michael brings joy to our lives. He is just so positive that it rubs off on all of us,” says Donna.
That positivity has made him a much-loved member of the wider family too. He enjoys spending time with Donna and Stephen’s three daughters and 11 grandchildren, and has built strong relationships with extended family members, including Stephen’s brother Brian, who helps support Michael when Donna and Stephen are away.
One memory that perfectly captures Michael’s place within the family came during a recent Bank Holiday trip to Rhyl. Michael spent time swimming in the sea with one of the grandchildren before everyone enjoyed lunch together in the sunshine. Moments like these aren’t extraordinary occasions. They are simply part of family life.
The rewards of Shared Lives
For Michael, timekeeping can sometimes be difficult, especially when getting ready in the mornings. “It’s probably our biggest challenge,” Donna admits. “But we’ve worked on it together and we’re making progress.”
She believes honesty is important when talking about Shared Lives. It isn’t about being perfect. It’s about working together, finding solutions and supporting one another.
People often ask how Donna and Stephen manage having someone else living in their home. Her answer is straightforward. “They won’t be a stranger for long.”
For Donna, Shared Lives isn’t about giving up her own life. She and Stephen still enjoy time together, visit family and take occasional breaks, knowing that support and respite are available when needed.
Instead, she feels Shared Lives has enriched their lives. “It is very rewarding… we’ve enjoyed looking after Michael so much that we’ve been looking for another person who could come and live with us and be friends with Michael.”
It’s a decision they say they would never have considered if they weren’t completely confident in the support they receive from their scheme and the difference Shared Lives can make.
More than care
Donna often reflects on how her experiences as a mother, grandmother, foster carer and support worker have shaped her approach to Shared Lives. But she believes people sometimes underestimate their own ability to become carers. “Life brings many experiences,” she says. “Just being a mum or a grandmother can give you fantastic experience.”
As Shared Lives Week celebrates the power of connection, Donna hopes more people will discover what Shared Lives is really about. For her family, t has meant gaining relationships, friendships and a home filled with laughter.
And if she had to sum up being a Shared Lives carer in just one sentence?
“For us, being a Shared Lives carer is opening your home and daily life to support an adult with care needs, helping them live independently, safely and as socially as possible in a family home.”
If Donna has inspired you to learn more about becoming a Shared Lives carer visit www.startyoursharedlife.today
