When Daniel turned 18, Shared Lives meant he didn’t have to start over

At 21, Kyle is studying at university, thinking about his future career and supporting people through Shared Lives. It’s probably not what most people picture when they think about a carer.

Daniel, aged 20, came to live with Kyle’s family through fostering when he was just five years old. Over the years, he became part of the family, living with Kyle, his parents Jane and Dave, and another young person supported through fostering.

As Daniel approached adulthood, there was uncertainty about what would happen next. “I didn’t want to change carers,” says Daniel. “I liked how things were and didn’t want anything to change.”

Fortunately, there was another option. Through the South East Wales Shared Lives scheme, Jane and Dave became Shared Lives carers, allowing Daniel to continue living with the family he already knew and trusted.

For Kyle, becoming involved in Shared Lives felt like a natural step. Having grown up in a fostering household, he had seen first-hand the difference family-based support can make.

“My decision to become a Shared Lives carer came from discussions within my family about the future, particularly thinking ahead about how Daniel would be supported if anything happened to my parents,” he says. “I wanted to gain the knowledge, skills and confidence to support him and make sure he continued to have the opportunities and support he needs.”

Growing up in a fostering household had shown Kyle the difference that the right support can make. Seeing young people thrive inspired him to become more involved himself.

“Growing up seeing the difference fostering can make to young people’s lives, it’s great that I can now support adults through Shared Lives,” he says.

“I wanted to gain practical experience and build a deeper understanding of how to support people in a way that promotes independence, wellbeing and quality of life.”

Kyle supports Daniel through Shared Lives while studying at university. The pair share many of the same interests, including football, travelling and spending time together. “We have holidays together and he’s helped me with a lot of things,” says Daniel.

One of their favourite shared activities is supporting West Ham United, and they regularly travel to London together to watch matches. “I enjoy going to football matches in London with Dave and Kyle,” he says. They have also travelled further afield, including trips to Paris and Dublin. When planning trips, Kyle makes sure Daniel is involved in every decision, from choosing attractions to finding suitable accommodation.

“We talked through everything together so he knew what to expect,” says Kyle. “It helped build confidence and made sure it was a meaningful experience for him.”

Daniel now attends college three days a week and continues to build his independence with support from those around him. “My carers support me to be independent and stay safe,” he says. “They listen to me and allow me to be myself. They help me learn how to look after myself and give me confidence.”

Daniel says Shared Lives has helped him feel more confident and secure about the future. “I feel happy and settled. I’m no longer worried that I’ll be moved somewhere.”

For Kyle, one of the most rewarding parts of being a Shared Lives carer is seeing people grow I confidence and independence. “What I love most is supporting people to develop independence, achieve their goals and experience things they might not otherwise have the chance to.”

Alongside supporting Daniel, Kyle also provides support to other people through Shared Lives. Surprisingly, he says this aspect of the role has had the biggest impact on him. “It was the sessional support that surprised me most,” he says. “I never expected to have the level of job satisfaction that I do. I genuinely feel like I’m going out with friends and making a real difference to people who might otherwise be lonely.”

Kyle believes Shared Lives has helped him grow personally as much as professionally. “The people I support bring a huge amount of joy, laughter and perspective,” he says. “It’s not just about providing care. It’s about sharing experiences, empowering each other and building meaningful relationships where we both learn and grow.”

Daniel hopes to stay in college, continue developing his independence and eventually do some volunteer work. Most importantly, he wants to stay living with the people who have supported him throughout his life.

Kyle hopes his story encourages more people to challenge assumptions about who can become a Shared Lives carer. Many people think carers are older or that they need years of professional experience before they can help. Kyle’s experience suggests otherwise.

“Shared Lives provides comprehensive training and excellent ongoing support,” he says. “I feel well supported in my role and confident that I can ask questions whenever I need to.”

When asked to sum up what Shared Lives means to him, Daniel’s answer is simple: “It’s given me a family I can live with. I didn’t want to change carers and this has meant I can stay forever.”

Shared Lives can help young people maintain important relationships as they move into adulthood. If you’re a foster carer, family carer, social worker or support professional looking for alternatives to a cliff-edge transition at 18, find out more about Shared Lives for young people leaving care.

Get involved with this year’s Shared Lives Week and support us to ‘Shout about Shared Lives’ and ‘tell one person’ so that more people can be supported, and more lives can change.