“It’s given her a new lease of life: how Live More is supporting Kath and her family

Kath had been living with memory problems for several years, alongside the impact of strokes that had affected her mobility. She now uses a wheelchair and, over time, everyday life had become more frustrating.

“She wants to say something simple, like ‘jam’, and she just can’t get the word out,” Russell said. “She’ll say, ‘I remember what it is… I just can’t say it.’”

As things progressed, Kath began doing less and less. Days became repetitive, and motivation was low. Russell describes his parents as ‘stuck in a bubble’ – at home, with the same routines and the same conversations.

Kath’s husband Sid was her main companion and carer – supporting her day to day while also managing his own health. Sid is blind and has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. “It’s an incredibly sad time,” Russell said.

Russell visits as often as he can, checking they are safe and helping where possible. But with a full-time job and living some distance away, it is difficult to do more. “I feel quite guilty,” he said. “I can’t take them out much.”

Before Live More, Kath was receiving some formal care, but it didn’t offer what she really needed. “The carers come in, take her to the toilet, maybe make a cup of tea,” Russell said. “But there’s no interaction. They’re just there to do a job… like a cleaning lady, but for a person.”

Russell also explored other options through the council, including a day centre. While transport was provided, the experience didn’t work well for Kath. “The activities were a bit rigid,” he said “She didn’t really like it. She felt she was healthier than some of the people there…and a lot of days she just didn’t want to go.”

Russell first heard about Shared Lives and Live More through Bury Carers Hub. The idea was simple – a few hours each week of one-to-one support for Kath, giving everyone a break and bringing something new into their lives.

At first, he had concerns. “You do worry – are they going to be alright? Can you trust the person? Will they turn up?” he said.

What reassured him was knowing the programme was properly set up. “We were told everyone was vetted, and it was council-backed,” he said. “That gives you peace of mind.”

The flexibility also helped. “If she didn’t like it, we could change things or try something else,” he said. “We could work with it.”

Kath and Sid were unsure at first, used to their routine and being at home together. Russell gently encouraged them to try it. “I said, just give it one week,” he said. “If you like it, we’ll carry on. If you don’t, no pressure. But if you don’t give it a go, you’ll never know.”

Kath was matched with Elaine, a Shared Lives carer with Shared Lives in Bury, managed by Persona. From the first visit, it felt like a good fit. “She said she was really nice, very polite, – very old-school manners,” Russell said. “That meant a lot to Mum.”

Now, the two spend time together each week, heading out into the community. They go to the park, visit garden centres, browse the shops and pick up groceries or gifts. Sometimes it’s something small – like choosing an anniversary card – but it matters.

Crucially, the time is flexible and led by Kath. “It’s a conversation,” Russell said. “She asks Mum, ‘what do you want to do today?’ It depends on how she feels and what the weather’s like. It gives her that feeling of being in charge again,” he said.

Kath looks forward to the visits and makes an effort to get ready. “She’ll put her makeup on before Elaine comes,” he said.

And when she gets back, the difference is clear. “She comes back in a great mood,” he said. “We’ll have a coffee; talk about everything she’s done. I tease her about spending money at the shop, and we have a laugh about it.”

Elaine also takes time to chat with Sid afterwards, sharing what they’ve been doing and small milestones – like how far Kath has walked with her walker that week.

The impact goes beyond those few hours each week. For Kath and Sid, it brings something new into their lives. “Instead of talking about the same things every day, there’s always something different,” Russell said.  

Sid also benefits from the time to himself. “He can sit down with his Braille reader or listen to his talking newspaper,” Russell said.  

For Russell, it brings reassurance. “I usually get lots of phone calls from Mum during the day,” he said. “But for those four hours, I’m not worried. I can crack on with work.”

Perhaps most striking is the change Russell has seen in his mum. “She’s sprightlier,” he said. “Before, she was just getting worse and worse… sitting on the couch all day.”

Now, there is something to look forward to – and a reason to get up and get going. “On those days, it’s different,” he said. “There’s motivation. Not only is Mum excited – Dad’s excited for her as well, because he can see she’s happier.”

The support has also brought something else that had been missing. “She needed that ‘woman talk’,” he said. “Someone to chat to about things that blokes don’t talk about.”

Russell believes things would have stayed the same without Live More. “They’d still be stuck in that bubble,” he said.

Instead, there is now something to break up the week and lift everyone’s mood. “It’s a really good thing,” he said. “It should be pushed.”

As Live More grows, we’re keeping people like Kath and her family – and what matters to them – at the heart of the programme.

Find out more: Live More: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.