“Right place, right time: how Live More is supporting Joyce and her family

Two years ago, Joyce was diagnosed with dementia. Before that, she had always been independent. She went out on her own, got the bus into town and did her own shopping. She managed her day-to-day life without support. But over time, things began to change. “She started to lose confidence,” Jayne said. “The biggest problem is money… I get confused,” Joyce said.

Although she still wanted to do as much as possible for herself, Joyce began to rely more on her daughters, who live close by. Jayne and her sister visited every day alongside working full time. “It was becoming a bit of a struggle,” Jayne said. “We just wanted to make sure mum wasn’t on her own too much.”

Joyce valued her independence and wanted to keep doing things for herself. But spending more time alone during the day began to affect her. “She was getting upset,” Jayne said. “She didn’t want to be on her own.” At times, Joyce would even talk about going into a care home. “That was really upsetting,” Jayne said. “She’s definitely not ready for that.”

After Joyce’s diagnosis, the family looked into what support might be available. They spoke to a social worker and explored day services, mainly to provide company during the day while her daughters were working.

But Joyce didn’t qualify for funded support. She was still considered too independent, so any support would need to be paid for privately. At the same time, the options didn’t feel right. What Jayne felt her mum needed was something simpler – someone to spend time with.

“Because my sister and I both work full time and have other commitments, we just wanted to make sure mum wasn’t on her own too much,” she said. “She was getting upset, and I felt she needed a different person – somebody to talk about different things with.” At that point, it felt like the only option was to carry on and manage as best they could.

However, a conversation during a training session led Jayne to exactly the support she had been looking for. Jayne, who works in supported living services for Wigan Council, was attending training next door to the Shared Lives office in Wigan. During a break, she spoke to staff she already knew and asked if there was anything that might help her mum. “I just asked if she’d be eligible for support… whether we needed a social worker involved.”

That’s when she heard about Live More. “They said you didn’t need a social worker… it was a pilot scheme for about six months. It just felt like I was in the right place at the right time.”

A Shared Lives coordinator contacted Jayne and arranged a visit to Joyce’s home. They talked about Joyce’s interests, what she enjoys, and what kind of support would feel right. They were then introduced to Rosemary. “She’s an older lady, which is good for my mum,” Jayne said. “They’ve got a lot of similar interests.”

They started with a trial week – and quickly knew it was the right match.

For Joyce, the relationship with Rosemary feels natural. What matters most is how that time is shaped around her. “I like doing things with Rosemary. She’s more like a friend or neighbour coming to see me,” she said. “She doesn’t tell me what to do. She asks me, ‘what would you like to do today?’”

Sometimes they go out shopping or stop for a drink. Other times, especially when the weather is bad, they stay in and talk. That choice makes a real difference.
Joyce values the time she spends with Rosemary and how familiar it feels. “She comes into my house, makes a drink… it’s like I’ve known her a long time. I feel good… like I’ve done something I like doing.”

For Joyce, it doesn’t feel like care. “It’s like having another person in my life… not like she’s doing a job.”

For Jayne, the impact is just as important. Rosemary visits bring routine and reassurance. “She contacts me to confirm what time she’ll be there,” Jayne said. “It’s the same time every week.” That consistency gives her peace of mind. “I know mum’s out, she’s safe, and she’s doing something she enjoys.”

It also creates space. She and her sister can get on with other things during those hours. “We don’t feel like we have to ring and check on her.”

The support has helped with everyday life too. Shopping, which Jayne used to do regularly with her mum, is now something Rosemary can support with. “It takes a bit of the load off.”

After each visit, the change in Joyce is clear. “She’s really happy… really smiling,” Jayne said. “You can see the difference straight away. She’s got different things to talk about. It’s not just us all the time – it’s someone else, something different.”

As Live More grows, we’re keeping people like Joyce and Jayne – and what matters to them – at the heart of the programme.

Find out more: Live More: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.

Please note: This story is illustrated using an image from the Centre for Ageing Better image library and does not feature the people described in the story.