“I do things with them, not for them”: how Elaine is making a difference with Live More

We all need connection, purpose and people around us who make us feel like ourselves. Live More is testing how we can offer that earlier – through simple, relationship-based support built around what matters to each person.

For Elaine, a Shared Lives carer in Stockport, it’s about something very human. “They treat me as a friend,” she says. “They feel like they have someone. They know I’m coming every week.”

Elaine came to Shared Lives after years of working for the council, supporting people with a learning disability in their own homes. She was looking for more work and a way to use her experience differently. She also wanted her teenage children to meet more people and feel part of something wider.

“I like people in my house, I like people around,” she says. “I wanted my children to see different people, not just stay at home on computers.”

When she first heard about Stockport Shared Lives, she was interested in offering longer-term support. But while work was being done on her home, she was offered the chance to get involved in the Live More pilot.

“It was something I could start straight away,” she says. “Just spending time with people, going for a coffee, going for a walk.” The idea made sense to her immediately.

Elaine brought experience with her. In her previous role, she had regular dementia training and felt confident getting started. For people who are new to this kind of support, Shared Lives offers training and ongoing guidance to help build skills and confidence.

As part of the pilot, Elaine was matched with several people, including Liz and Debbie. Debbie lives with her husband and experiences anxiety, low mood and difficulties with eating. Liz lives alone and experiences anxiety and depression. Elaine focuses on what she knows works: taking time, building trust and showing up consistently.

For Liz, that consistency made a clear difference. “Many times, I went there in the beginning, she did not want to open the door,” Elaine says. “Then after that, I came in once a week and she brightens up. She said the highlight of her week is me, because I’m something new, I’m a friend.”

Her family see the difference too. “They message me and say, ‘you make such a difference, you make her day bright.’”

With Debbie, Elaine focuses on small but important things – making sure she eats, gets out of the house and spends time with others. That gives her husband reassurance that she is safe and well.

Each week looks different. Sometimes it’s a walk, a coffee, or a trip to the shops. Other times it’s going to an appointment and building something positive around it. “It’s about doing normal things,” Elaine says. “If we go out, we go for a coffee after, or we go to the shops.”

She takes photos to show how people are getting on and what they enjoy. She also brings people together where it feels right. “Liz and Debbie support each other because they are the same age,” she says. “They just love each other.”

One highlight was organising a group bowling trip, bringing together people she supports and their families. “Everyone had a great time,” she says. “My children came too. It felt like family.”

As well as support from the scheme, Elaine built strong links with local dementia services, including the team at Meadows, who offer specialist support and activities.

For the people Elaine supports, the impact is clear. They feel more confident, more connected and have something to look forward to each week. For Elaine, it has changed her life too. “I can get involved in their lives and make a difference,” she says. “That makes me happy.”

After years in more structured roles, Shared Lives gives her the freedom to support people in a more personal way. “I can do things with them, not just for them,” she says. “They don’t see me as a carer,” she adds. “They see me as a friend. It’s about friendship, it’s about being there.”

As Live More grows, we need more people like Elaine to step forward. You don’t need formal experience – just time, patience and an interest in people. With the right support, you can help people stay connected to the things that matter, while giving families a break they can rely on.

Find out more: Live More: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.

Please note: This story is illustrated using an image from the Centre for Ageing Better image library and does not feature the people described in the story.