“All the smiles, all the chats”: how Howard supports people living well with dementia through Live More

Howard and his wife first became involved in care through fostering children with learning and behavioural difficulties. When the young people they supported turned 18, it became clear they would not be able to live independently, so Howard and his wife continued supporting them through Shared Lives. Today, both still live with them.

Over time, Howard also began supporting people in the community, including helping people living with dementia attend activities and appointments. Before Live More, most of the people he supported were living in supported housing or specialist settings.

“Live More is different,” he said. “It’s working one-to-one with the families as well as the ladies I support through Shared Lives. That interested me. I hadn’t done that before.”

Howard says the difference quickly became clear. “You see the benefits to both,” he said. “The family member and the person you’re taking out.”

Howard now supports two women through Live More: Jean and Joy.

Jean lives with her daughter and granddaughter, who also has additional needs. Howard takes her out twice a week, often to parks, lakes and places where she can feed the birds.

“She loves birds,” he said. “So we tend to go where there’s wild birds, then we’ll have a coffee and a chat or something to eat.” Afterwards, Howard drops Jean at a community singing group she enjoys.

Joy lives independently and has strong family support, but Howard’s visits help reduce pressure on her family. “If she’s got a doctor’s appointment or a hair appointment, I’ll take her,” he explained, “so the family don’t have to keep taking time off work.”

They also spend time shopping, visiting cafés and going to dementia-friendly places in the community. “Because I’ve been doing it for so long, I know where to go,” Howard said. “Where staff understand and where they’re in a safe environment.”

For Howard, much of the support is about helping people continue enjoying ordinary life and breaking up routines that can otherwise become small and isolated. “They get out, see different places and hear a different voice,” he said. “That means a lot. I think it gives them a better quality of life.”

For Howard, one of the most rewarding parts of Live More is seeing how much the women enjoy spending time out. “All the smiles, all the chats,” he said. “You can tell they’re enjoying it.”

Jean, in particular, was unsure at first. “She said, ‘I can manage, I’m still independent, I don’t need this,’” Howard said. But over time, her confidence and enthusiasm grew. “Now she’s done a 360-degree turn and really enjoys it,” he said. “She’s always saying, ‘I’ve had such a good day.’”

He also sees the difference it makes to families. “It’s a big relief,” he said. “Both their daughters work, and they were taking a lot of time off, where now I can help.”

Howard believes Live More can help people continue living well at home for longer. “At the moment, while I’m supporting them, they’re not going into a care home or a supported scheme for dementia,” he said. “We’re managing, at the moment, to maintain support at home, which is a benefit to everybody.”

Howard believes more people could support people living with dementia if they had more understanding and confidence around dementia.

“I think people are frightened by the word dementia,” he said. “A lot of carers don’t understand what dementia is about.”

Howard believes many people assume dementia means somebody has “lost everything” but says that is not the reality he sees. Instead, he believes people living with dementia can continue enjoying relationships, activities and everyday life with the right support around them.

“I think better education and knowledge of dementia would go a long way,” he said.

Howard says both families have already expressed interest in continuing support beyond the pilot, which he sees as a sign of the difference Live More has made. For Howard, one of the most important parts of Live More is helping people continue living well in familiar surroundings, with the people around them. “It’s good for them to be in their own environment,” he said. “They’re able to stay with their family.”

As Live More grows, stories like Howard’s show how relationship-based support can help people living with dementia stay active, connected and part of everyday life – while giving families trusted support and time to recharge.

Find out more: Live More: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.

Please note: This story is illustrated using an image from the Centre for Ageing Better image library and does not feature the people described in the story.