Meg’s ten year Shared Lives journey: From hospital to owning a home of her own

As Meg’s stay was coming to an end in hospital, she wondered what would be next… “I knew one thing for certain; I didn’t want to move somewhere that felt like another institution. I wanted to be part of a family,” says Meg.

So, she started searching and came across Shared Lives when Googling things like “foster care for adults.” It felt like exactly what she was looking for. Even the hospital team hadn’t heard of it before, but they all agreed it was worth exploring.

“Looking back, I thought I was doing “okay” at the time, after all I was about to be discharged. But I was still quite unwell – physically and emotionally. I was smoking (a vice that allowed me to go out into the garden at hospital multiple times a day), had put on weight due to medication, and was still engaging in self-destructive behaviours,” says Meg.

At every stage in her life over the past ten years, Meg thought she’d achieved as much as she could, but she’s learned over time that’s never really the case.

Moving in with a Shared Lives carer 10 years ago changed a lot in Meg’s life, not through one single moment, but through lots of small, meaningful changes.

She could decorate her own bedroom and bonded with her Shared Lives carer’s dog who would curl up beside her at night, helping to ease her nightmares. After so long in hospital, Meg had felt like she was living in a fishbowl, until now.

“Suddenly, I could walk out of the front door and go to the shop whenever I wanted, sometimes multiple times a day, simply because I could!” Says Meg.

She learned how to cook and went on holiday with her Shared Lives carer, including sailing around the Greek islands, which became a defining moment. “One night, out at sea at 2am, surrounded by darkness and stars, I realised just how much life existed beyond what I had known,” says Meg.

Most importantly, she had a safety net. Shared Lives gave her the confidence to explore life, knowing someone was there to support her when needed.

After around 17 months living with a Shared Lives carer, Meg felt ready to take the next step and move into supported accommodation.

Her Shared Lives carer at the time played a key role in this transition. She helped Meg develop practical skills like cooking and cleaning and supported her in building confidence to live more independently. “Most importantly, my carer gave me insight into what real-life relationships looked like – something I hadn’t really experienced before, having spent so much of my life as a patient,” says Meg.

When Meg moved out, the support didn’t end. Her Shared Lives carer continued to provide day Shared Lives support for several years, helping with paperwork, appointments, and settling into her new home.

Living on her own was a significant step. With weekly support visits, Meg learned to manage shopping, bills, and household tasks. On more difficult days, support could be as simple as companionship, watching films together or helping with batch cooking.

It wasn’t always easy, but it was her own space and that mattered.

Today, Shared Lives continues to play an important role in Meg’s life, in a more flexible and personalised way.

She now spends time with three Shared Lives carers:

• Emily, who is both a friend and a maternal figure, depending on what Meg needs. She offers emotional support, and has supported Meg to reconnect with her family in Cornwall after several years apart.
• Heather, whose dry sense of humour Meg appreciates, and who provides practical support such as help with moving house and cooking.
• Isabel, who supports Meg with shopping and attending appointments.

Support doesn’t always mean outings or activities. Often, it’s about everyday moments – managing life admin, sharing a conversation, or simply spending time together. That consistency has been key.

Meg is also accompanied everywhere by her dog, Flower, a teacup chihuahua who has had a significant impact on her confidence. Meg says, “Having Flower with me, often sparks conversations with others, helping me to engage socially in ways that previously felt difficult.”

After over eight years in supported accommodation, Meg is now preparing for her biggest step yet – buying her own home with her partner.

Shared Lives carers have supported her throughout this process, particularly with understanding paperwork and navigating phone calls. Whilst Meg has wanted to take on as much responsibility as possible, having that support alongside her has been invaluable.

Her relationship is another example of how Shared Lives has helped shape her life; she met her partner through connections linked to her carer Emily. His family has become an important support network, giving Meg a sense of belonging close to home.

“Although I feel nervous, I also feel ready. I recognise that for me staying in one place too long can hold me back, and I’m motivated to keep progressing,” says Meg.

Reflecting on the past ten years, Meg describes her journey as a rollercoaster, full of both challenges and achievements but ultimately leading to growth she never thought possible.

Looking back at some videos she made with Shared Lives Plus in 2020, she feels compassion for her past self. At that point, she was just beginning to explore independence. Earlier still, when she first moved in with her Shared Lives carer, she compares herself to a toddler. Today, she feels like a grown adult.

While she recognises the vital role Shared Lives has played, Meg is also proud of her own determination and hard work in reaching this point.

“There were opportunities to remain in more supported environments, but I’ve always consistently chosen to keep moving forward. Shared Lives has provided the foundation and the confidence to do so, but I give myself credit for all the work I’ve put in to get where I am,” says Meg.

The future is full of possibilities.

As Meg moves into a new area, Shared Lives will continue to support her in practical ways, from getting to know local amenities to building confidence using public transport, which she has set as her next personal goal.

In the longer term…

“One day I’d like to come full circle and hope to become a Shared Lives carer myself. With a spare room in our new home, I would like to offer overnight stays, or day Shared Lives support to others, when I feel ready to do so,” says Meg.

For now, her focus is on continuing to build her independence and settling into this new chapter.

Ten years ago, Meg could not have imagined owning her own home. Today, it is becoming a reality and she knows there is still more to come.

Find out more about Shared Lives and how it could support you or someone you know to flourish in their local community.