“His eyes would light up”: how Matt helped Andy reconnect with the things he loved through Live More

For Matt, becoming involved in Live More showed him how important shared interests, connection and routine can be for people living with dementia.

Matt first came into care work through music. A professional singer, he spent years performing in care homes and community groups. Matt later joined MioCare in Oldham, who run the local Shared Lives scheme, supporting people with learning disabilities.

After taking time away from work following the loss of both his parents, he was approached by Katie Morgan, Shared Lives Scheme Manager in Oldham, about becoming involved in the Live More pilot.

“There was a real need for male Shared Lives carers,” he said. “A lot of the people wanting support were men, and they really wanted another man to spend time with.”

At first, Matt worried about whether he would be able to support people living with dementia in the right way. “I was nervous,” he said. “I’d worked with people with learning disabilities before, but dementia was completely different.”

To prepare, he completed dementia training and leaned on support from the Shared Lives scheme. “I learnt in the role as well,” he said. “And the scheme is incredibly supportive. I know if I ever need advice, someone is there.”

One of the first people Matt was matched with through Live More was Andy. Andy had previously worked repairing buses and vehicles and had a lifelong interest in mechanics, transport and motorbikes. At first, Matt worried because he didn’t share that background himself.

“I remember thinking, ‘I know nothing about mechanics,’” he laughed. But the two quickly found common ground elsewhere: music, walking, dogs and conversation. “We just clicked,” Matt said.

Together, they spent time out in the community each week, often going on long walks or visiting places linked to Andy’s interests. “We’d go to parks, reservoirs, transport museums, bike shops – anywhere that sparked something for him,” Matt said.

One memorable trip involved visiting a dam near Huddersfield that Andy had seen online and wanted to explore. “The weather was awful,” Matt said. “Roads were flooded and we had to reroute, but Andy absolutely loved it. He saw it as this big adventure.”

The outings often unlocked memories and conversations, and music was particularly powerful. Andy could remember exact years and artists from decades earlier and would talk about concerts, motorbikes and trips he’d taken in the past. “It was amazing watching those memories come back,” Matt said. “His eyes would light up.”

On rainy days, they adapted their plans. Sometimes they stayed in watching documentaries about the Isle of Man TT races before heading out to motorcycle dealerships around Manchester. “He could tell you every single bike,” Matt said. “We’d go into the shops, and the staff would chat with him about bikes for ages. He loved it.”

Over time, their relationship became much more than doing activities together. “The more we went out, the more he trusted me,” Matt said. Andy began remembering details about Matt’s life and talking to him “like an old friend from work.”

Andy also began opening up about how dementia was affecting him. “He knew things were changing,” Matt said. “He’d talk about how he couldn’t do certain things anymore, like driving. You could see it upset him,” he said. “That’s the heartbreaking part – when someone knows they’re losing skills.”

But Matt believes the relationship helped build confidence too. “It gave him a safe space where he wasn’t being judged,” he said. “We were just two people going out, talking and doing things he enjoyed.”

Watching Andy reconnect with familiar places, memories and interests changed the way Matt thought about dementia support. “You could see who he was. The conversations were there. The humour was there. The knowledge was there.”

Rather than focusing on what Andy could no longer do, Matt tried to focus on the things that still brought him confidence, enjoyment and a sense of himself. “You focus on people’s abilities, not their limitations,” he said. “That’s the biggest thing.”

Matt also built a relationship with Andy’s wife, who coordinated plans with him each week and used the time to rest or catch up on everyday tasks. “She’d finally get chance to do things for herself,” Matt said. “Shopping, washing, ironing – or sometimes just resting.”

He says the impact on family carers is huge. “They need time to breathe,” he said. “You could sometimes tell she’d finally managed to get a bit of rest while we were out. When somebody is caring all the time, it’s exhausting,” he said. “You need space to recharge and stay patient.”

Although Matt is no longer supporting Andy after taking time off due to illness himself, the experience has stayed with him. “You genuinely grow attached to people,” he said. “These relationships matter.”

Matt is now back supporting people through Shared Lives and says the experience with Andy strengthened his belief in the importance of relationship-based support. “You really are making a difference to people’s lives,” he said.

For Matt, that human connection is what Shared Lives is all about and he believes the rewards of becoming a Shared Lives carer far outweigh the challenges. Matt hopes more people will consider becoming Shared Lives carers and supporting programmes like Live More. “You’ve got to be patient, calm and understanding,” he said. “But the rewards are incredible.”

As Live More grows, we need more people like Matt to step forward. You don’t need formal experience – just time, patience and an interest in people. With the right support, you can help people stay connected to the things that matter to them, while giving families a break they can rely on.

Find out more: Live More: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.