“No one should have to do it alone”: how Tricia is changing lives through Live More

Before joining Shared Lives, Tricia worked in teaching. But when her mum developed vascular dementia, everything changed. “I came out of teaching to care for my mum,” she explained. “I cared for her for more than seven years at home until end of life and managed to keep her at home.”

After losing both her mum and dad within a few months of each other, Tricia found it difficult to return to her previous career. She spent some time doing personal care work in the community but found it emotionally frustrating. “You were just dashing in, doing personal care or making a meal and then coming away,” she said. “I always felt like I wasn’t giving enough.”

A friend told her about Shared Lives in Bury, managed by Persona. Tricia decided to reach out. “My experience with Mum gave me a real passion for families and people living with dementia,” she said.

Although she felt nervous about starting something new later in life, the informal interview process immediately reassured her. “I remember saying, ‘I don’t know if I’m going to be any use to you because I’m a bit older now,’” she said. “And they said, ‘Honestly, you’re just what we’re looking for.’”

Tricia joined Shared Lives around a year ago and has never looked back. “I really enjoy the role,” she said. “I just get so much from it. It’s rewarding and so important.”

Through Live More, Tricia now supports Netta, who lives alone and has no close family nearby. When they first met, Netta was struggling to manage day-to-day life on her own. “She was living such a lonely life,” Tricia said. “She was just overwhelmed.”

When Tricia first visited, Netta’s home had become dangerously cluttered through hoarding. “She was sleeping on the landing on the floor,” she explained. Much of Tricia’s early support focused on helping Netta gradually reclaim her home and independence. At first, Netta struggled to accept help. But over time, trust developed between them and they began tackling things together. “Now we work together,” Tricia said. “I wash and she dries.”

Today, Netta is back sleeping in her own bed and feels more comfortable spending time in her home again. “She can actually sit and watch television now,” Tricia said.

Alongside practical support like shopping, laundry and appointments, Tricia has also helped Netta put routines and tools in place to stay independent. “She was losing everything,” Tricia said. “Keys, purse, everything.” To help, Tricia labelled cupboards, organised storage spaces and bought Netta a large dementia clock showing the day and time clearly. “She says now, ‘I can’t do without my clock.’”

Netta still enjoys going out independently to activities like art groups but often struggles with timing and memory. “She needs that support alongside her to access these things,” Tricia said.

For Tricia, understanding dementia and responding calmly is key. “I think if you haven’t got an understanding of dementia, certain situations could frighten people,” she said. “But they’re all manageable if you know how to handle them.”

Netta, who once kept everyone on the doorstep because she was embarrassed about her home, is now happy welcoming people inside. “That’s been a real step forward for her,” Tricia said.

At 64, Tricia says her own children sometimes ask why she is still working. But for her, the answer is simple. “I get just as much from this role as what I give,” she said.

She believes families affected by dementia are too often left to cope alone after diagnosis. “You’re basically sent home to deal with it,” she said. “And it’s such a hard, hard journey.”

That experience continues to shape how she supports people through Live More. “I just hope people with dementia and their families get the support they really need,” she said. “Because no one should have to do it alone.”

As Live More grows, we need more people like Tricia to step forward. You don’t need formal experience – just time, patience and an interest in people. With the right support, you can help people stay connected to the things that matter to them, while giving families a break they can rely on.

Find out more: Live More: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.

Please note: This story is illustrated using an image from the Centre for Ageing Better image library and does not feature the people described in the story.