“There was no awkwardness”: how Live More is supporting Peter and Glenys

Glenys and Peter have been married for 57 years. Before Peter was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, they enjoyed getting out together. They were members of the National Trust, travelled regularly and Peter loved fishing.

But as Peter’s dementia progressed, life became much smaller. “Unfortunately, all that has now come to an end,” Glenys said.

Peter was first diagnosed in July 2024. At first, he was still able to drive, and they could still get out and about. But over time, that changed. “I cannot leave him on his own now,” Glenys said. “He has to have somebody with him all the time, so that affects me too.”

Even appointments became difficult to manage. “If I need to go to a hospital appointment, I now have to sort it with family. My sons have to have a day off work to enable me to go.”

For Glenys, the priority has always been helping Peter stay at home, surrounded by familiar routines, family and the life they built together. “Ideally, I want to keep Peter here with me as long as I can,” she said.

After Peter’s diagnosis, Glenys was given information about support but said it was difficult to know what to ask for. “You’re just given all this paperwork,” she said. “It’s knowing where to actually go for different things.”

The Meadows, who were involved in Peter’s diagnosis, connected her with Stockport Shared Lives and told Glenys about Live More.

Glenys said the idea of having one person supporting Peter immediately stood out to her and her reaction was immediate. “Brilliant, in one word,” she said. “I can’t think of a better word than brilliant.”

For Glenys, the possibility of trusted support felt huge. “I’ve always been able to go out and about and do what I want, when I want. Then to suddenly feel so restricted – it’s awful.”

After Glenys and Peter were accepted onto the pilot, Tracy from the scheme visited them at home with Andy, the Shared Lives carer who first supported Peter. The visit was a chance for everyone to get to know each other and talk through how the support would work. “They came in, sat down and were chatting straight away,” Glenys said. “There was no awkwardness.”

What reassured Glenys most was the way Andy and Tracy spoke to Peter. “They didn’t treat Peter as though he had an illness,” she said. “They just talked to him normally, and that put me at ease straight away.”

Andy supported Peter for around three months before moving into another role. Peter now receives support from Neil, who Glenys says he gets on well with too. “Both have been really nice gentlemen,” she said. “I cannot fault either of them. They’re brilliant.”

She believes part of what makes the support work is the Shared Lives carers’ natural approach. “They just have a very easy way about them,” she said. “They just sit down and chat away. They must be special people to be able to do that.”

Neil visits for three hours at a time. The hope was that Peter might sometimes go out for a short walk, but this has been difficult as Peter is reluctant to leave the house. “They sit and chat,” Glenys said. Even that simple companionship makes a difference. “I think it does Peter good, having somebody else to chat to,” she said. “Rather than just being stuck with me all the time.”

When neither of them is getting out much, conversation can become hard. “If you’re not going out and mixing with other people, you get stuck for conversation,” she said. “It does brighten him up when he has a visit from somebody else. He becomes a completely different person.”

For Glenys, those three hours give her something she otherwise rarely has: time to herself. “I really look forward to Neil coming,” she said. “Those three hours just give me a break, just to recharge my batteries.”

Most often, she goes into the town centre, meets a friend, has a wander around the shops, or goes for coffee or something to eat. “It’s just something to look forward to,” she said.

The impact of those few hours is bigger than it might sound. “It just improves my health considerably,” Glenys said. “It makes me feel so much better because, for a few hours, I’m able to get out and about and feel a bit more like the person I used to be.”

Even ordinary errands have become difficult. “Until something like this happens to you, you don’t realise how constricted it is,” she said. “If I need to get Peter some clothes, unless I do everything online, I cannot just go out and get him clothes or bits and pieces.”

Sometimes she meets friends. Sometimes she simply walks around on her own. Either way, the time matters. For Glenys, Live More is not about dramatic change. It is about having a trusted person with Peter so she can step outside their caring routine for a short while. “It makes such a difference to me,” she said. “To be able to get away from the house for a while and do something I want to do.”

Glenys is clear that she wants the support to continue beyond the pilot if possible. “I think it’s such a brilliant scheme. I do not want to lose this contact.”

Glenys also believes more people should know that support like Live More exists. “I didn’t know anything about this scheme until it was mentioned to me,” she said. “If more people knew about it, perhaps it would get more funding.”

As Live More grows, stories like Peter and Glenys’ show how relationship-based support can help people continue living at home, staying connected to the people and routines that matter most – while giving family carers trusted support they can rely on.

Find out more: Live More: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.

Please note: This story is illustrated using an image from the Centre for Ageing Better image library and does not feature the people described in the story.