Elle’s story: Staying together, building confidence and finding independence

Amy and Gavin have been foster carers since January 2017, when Elle came to live with them. Over the years, they have watched her grow and develop, and their relationship has become an important source of stability and support in her life.

As Elle approached leaving foster care, Amy and Gavin wanted to find a way to continue supporting her, without disrupting the progress she had already made. When Shared Lives was suggested, it felt like the right solution for everyone.

Since July 2025, Amy and Gavin have been supporting Elle through Shared Lives, allowing her to remain at home with them while continuing to develop the skills and confidence she will need for the future.

Elle describes her relationship with Amy and Gavin as supportive, caring and kind. She feels safe and says, “They make me smile and laugh… I can be my silly self and have a giggle.”

For Amy and Gavin, Elle is part of their family, “We have loved watching Elle grow over the years.” They all enjoy spending time together, whether that means sharing meals, going on trips or enjoying a visit to the cinema. At the same time, Amy and Gavin recognise the importance of Elle having her own personal space and time to herself.

For Amy and Gavin, one of the biggest benefits of Shared Lives has been that so much of Elle’s everyday life has stayed the same.

Elle has been able to keep her home, routines, volunteering role and activities. She has not had to adjust to a new living environment or rebuild the support network that has helped her develop over the years.

Changes can be particularly difficult for Elle, so maintaining this continuity has been hugely important. Rather than facing a major upheaval at the point of leaving foster care, she has been able to continue building on what she has already achieved.

Even the support available through respite has remained consistent, as Elle’s respite foster carer has also trained as a Shared Lives carer. This means that the people and relationships she relies on can continue to be part of her life.

A key part of Amy and Gavin’s approach is supporting Elle to make her own decisions in everyday life.

From choosing holidays and activities to deciding what she would like for tea, Elle is encouraged to express her preferences and take an active role in shaping her life.

When something is difficult, Amy and Gavin support her to think through the situation and consider the possible outcomes. The aim is not to make every decision for her, but to help her feel confident making decisions for herself.

This is what building independence looks like for Elle: having the freedom to make choices, knowing that support is available when she needs it, and being given the time and space to develop at her own pace.

Amy and Gavin believe that young people leaving care should not have to move on before they are ready simply because they have reached a particular age or stage, “Shared Lives has helped bridge the gap for us so that Elle can stay getting the support and care she needs from us whilst setting her up for independent living – but only when she is ready.”

Their advice to other Shared Lives carers considering supporting a care-experienced young person is straightforward: they would not hesitate to recommend it.

Elle says, “It is important to listen to young people. Not everybody is ready to live independently when you leave care, so I’m happy that I was listened to.”

As Amy and Gavin describe it, Shared Lives has been “a lifesaver” – enabling them to remain a family while helping Elle build towards a more independent future.

Find out more about the Shared Lives for Young People Leaving Care Programme: Shared Lives for care leavers, transitions and young adults