“Like I belonged”: Angelina and Alex’s Shared Lives story

For people experiencing mental ill health, the stability and connection offered by Shared Lives carers can be life changing. Research shows that Shared Lives helps people with mental ill health to live significantly better lives, improving emotional wellbeing and helping people feel more connected.

Angelina was the first person to be referred to Shared Lives Westmorland and Furness for mental health support. At the time, the scheme was beginning to explore how Shared Lives could help people experiencing mental ill health – offering connection, stability and a sense of belonging.

Six years on, Angelina’s story shows the lasting difference that the right relationship can make.

Before Shared Lives, Angelina’s life had become increasingly difficult. She had previously lived with two friends in supported living, where she felt connected and part of a network. But after an assessment review, it was decided she could live more independently, and she moved into sheltered housing.

Suddenly, the support network she relied on was gone. Feeling isolated, low and overwhelmed, Angelina struggled day to day. “It was very tough for me,” she says. “I struggled every day, especially with my mental health.” She often contacted her social worker or the crisis team and sometimes visited A&E because of her distress and isolation.

Angelina’s social worker suggested Shared Lives. Six hours of day support each week could help her access her community and rebuild the sense of belonging she had lost. The scheme matched her with Alex, a Shared Lives carer who had recently transitioned from fostering and had a background in mental health services.

From their very first meeting, they connected. “It was a good meeting,” Angelina remembers. “Like I belonged to somebody.” Alex felt the same. “We instantly hit it off, and we have now become firm friends,” she says. “Angelina has become part of the family.”

Alex quickly understood what Angelina needed. “Angelina is a lovely, warm, caring person, who just needed company and someone to look out for her,” she explains. Spending regular time together gave Angelina something to look forward to. “Going out with someone makes me feel safe,” she says.

One of the first challenges they tackled was Angelina’s living environment. Hoarding had begun to affect her health and wellbeing, and she needed to move. Alex supported her over a weekend move, and together they spent days and weeks sorting and setting up her new flat. “Alex gave me support in making a home for myself – something I never thought I would achieve,” says Angelina.

Settling into her new home, with a communal dining area and regular events, helped Angelina rebuild her confidence. Over time, she became more active and more connected. She started going on trips and her health and wellbeing improved significantly. She also built strong relationships with the Shared Lives scheme, attending reviews, and has been to every event the scheme has held, and enjoys visiting scheme workers.

Shared Lives has also supported Angelina through important life events. When she met Alan and they decided to live together, Alex supported her to navigate conversations with her accommodation provider and social worker. When Alan proposed, Alex was there to help plan the wedding, including months of shopping and preparation. “On her wedding day, Angelina looked radiant, confident and happy – it doesn’t get any better than that,” Alex says. For Angelina, having that support made a difference. “It helped me get through the day stress free,” she says.

Now, six years on, Angelina’s life is more stable. She has not needed crisis support for several years and describes the impact of Shared Lives simply: “It’s helped support me to have a peaceful mind.”

Philippa Fox, Manager for Shared Lives at Westmorland and Furness Council, says Angelina’s experience shows the lasting impact of the right support.

“Angelina was our scheme’s first mental health support referral. Her story shows how a little bit of support, encouragement and understanding can go a long, long way,” she says. “It also shows why continuing that support, even when such outcomes have been achieved, is so important.”

Alex reflects on the difference Shared Lives makes. “It helps keep stability,” she says. “I’m so proud of Angelina.” Her message to anyone considering becoming a Shared Lives carer is clear: “DO IT!! You will gain so much, including a great friendship. It’s the best thing I have done.”

For Angelina, Shared Lives has been life changing. “It gives you security and support… and peace of mind and contentment.”

Shared Lives schemes around the UK support people with a wide range of mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, functional neurological disorder (FND), borderline personality disorder, PTSD, extreme childhood trauma, and Tourette syndrome.

Shared Lives support is person-centred and tailored to each individual’s needs, focusing on consistent, stable relationships that promote a sense of belonging and self-worth.

Discover how Shared Lives helps people with mental ill health live significantly better lives: Mental ill health.

If Angelina and Alex’s story has inspired you to consider becoming a Shared Lives carer, visit www.startyoursharedlife.today.