Introducing Mary Stokes – Project officer, leaving care programme

The programme supports care-experienced young people with a learning disability, autism or mental health challenges, by matching them with approved Shared Lives carers who offer stable, supportive homes. We work with local authorities, the NHS, voluntary and community organisations, and housing providers to grow local Shared Lives services, improve outcomes for care leavers, and reduce social care costs.

We caught up with Mary to find out more about her background, what brought her to Shared Lives Plus, and what she’s most looking forward to in the role.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and how you got into this sector?

Hi! I’m Mary, I live in Norfolk, not far from the beautiful Norfolk Broads. I’ve always had a passion for inclusion – my dad is blind, yet fiercely independent. Growing up, that really shaped my early interest in making a difference and making sure everyone has the right support, no matter their difference or disability.

That passion led me to volunteer with a charity that takes children with disabilities to Lourdes in France over Easter. I was matched with a young girl with complex needs – she’s still a huge part of my life and my inspiration. I later became her Kinship Foster Carer and, when she transitioned into adult services, her Shared Lives carer too. That’s when I first became aware of the work Shared Lives does.

At the time, I was working in Children’s Services alongside my caring role. When a Development Worker role came up in the Norfolk and Suffolk Shared Lives Scheme, I jumped at the chance. And that brings me to where I am today!

What will you be doing in your new role?

I’ve joined Shared Lives Plus as Project Officer and I’m part of the Strategic Advice Team. Alongside colleagues, I’ll be leading on our Young People Leaving Care Programme – raising awareness of Shared Lives as an option for care leavers and working to bridge the gap between Children’s and Adult Services.

What are you most excited about?

There are some really exciting projects and plans in the pipeline. I’m especially excited to work with our brilliant ambassadors to create new resources and film projects – I think they’re going to be really cool!

How do your past experiences help in this job?

Being part of a local scheme and being a Shared Lives carer myself feeds into what I do every single day. It helps to think back to how things felt as a carer – what helped, what didn’t, and what’s realistic day to day in a busy scheme.

What does inclusion mean to you?

For me, inclusion means unity. I was aware from a young age of the barriers people face and the impact that has. Sometimes the smallest actions can have the biggest impact in enabling inclusion.

What’s important to you in the way you work with people?

Transparency, honesty and teamwork. Everyone works differently – and that’s what makes it so great! I love hearing different ideas because a few heads together are always better than one.

What do you hope to achieve in your role?

I’m hoping to work closely with our ambassadors and partners to grow the programme and show Shared Lives as a strong, effective option for young people leaving care. I also want to get the name of Shared Lives out there even more – it’s still not known well enough!

What do you enjoy doing when you’re not at work?

I love spending time with my family and friends. I enjoy sitting in the garden with a cup of tea and a good book, and I like going swimming or heading out for a walk.

Is there a bit of advice or a saying that’s stuck with you?

“Be you.” Simple, but powerful! My parents always said it to me growing up, especially during those tricky school years. They used to say, “Be you, because no one else can be,” and it stuck. I even have it engraved on a ring I wear every day!

Find out more about Shared Lives for Young People Leaving Care Programme.