A Shared Life in Moray: how the matching process brings friendship, fun and belonging

In Moray, that approach to matching has brought two women with early onset dementia more than just care – it’s brought friendship, laughter and regular community involvement.

Liz and Kathy were originally matched with Shared Lives carer Gail. They quickly bonded – with Gail, and with each other. So, when Gail retired in April, the Moray Shared Lives team knew how important it was to preserve that trusted relationship. They worked closely with both women and their families to find the right match – someone who could support them to continue their friendship and build on their shared experiences. That someone was Gwen.

“The trust and support within the new group of three is easy to see,” said Diane, Shared Lives Officer for Moray, who recently joined them on a visit to the BALL (Be Active, Live Long) group at Cullen Community Centre. Both ladies look to Gwen and each other before making decisions. My visit was full of fun, smiles and laughter.”

The BALL group offers weekly games, gentle exercise and social connection. “We spent time in the games room together for fun and movement then enjoyed an informative talk from the Scottish Charity Air Ambulance, over a lovely cup of tea and biscuit,” said Diane.

Although neither Liz nor Kathy lives in Cullen, Gwen encouraged them to try the group – and they’ve been warmly welcomed. The sense of inclusion helps both stay active and engaged.

Liz, who lives alone, says Shared Lives has transformed her week: “Before I came to Shared Lives, I spent a lot of time walking on my own. My family thought it would be good for me to have some social company. I really enjoy my Tuesdays. We do lots of different activities and generally have lots of fun! Kathy then came along a few months later and it was another person to have fun with. The Shared Lives service has made a big difference to my life by supporting me safely to enjoy the company of others out and about in the community.”

Her daughter-in-law, Claire, added: “The Shared Lives support provides us with peace of mind that Liz has a trustworthy connection with safe people outside the family.”

Kathy had a similar experience. She said: “I also spent a lot of time walking my dog out and about my local area by myself. I wasn’t too sure about coming to the Shared Lives service but was surprised on how much I felt comfortable and at ease. We have great fun, play games, listen to music and go for runs to cafes and places of interest. I look forward to my Tuesday spending time with a really good bunch of people. My husband George gets a day to himself too!”

George agrees: “Kathy is always upbeat and happy on her return home.”

Their story shows how Shared Lives matching is about relationships and making sure everyone feels at home, understood, and connected.

It’s also one of the many stories behind our new national programme, Live more, which will develop and evaluate day support for people living with dementia and their families. Live More aims to shift support from hospital to community, and from treatment to prevention, by offering flexible, relationship-based day support through Shared Lives.

Inspired by their story? Learn more about becoming a Shared Lives carer at www.startyoursharedlife.today.

If your scheme is interested in taking part in Live More, contact us at consultancy@sharedlivesplus.org.uk.