Flexibility, friendship and sheer fulfilment — Paul’s life with Shared Lives

Paul didn’t set out to change careers. Two years ago, he was working shifts in the transport industry, enjoying meeting passengers but craving more control over his week.

Paul says. “A friend of mine had been supported by Shared Lives for years, and his main carers encouraged me to sign up to do day support for him and I’ve never looked back!”

Now, he has four people who visit him regularly for day support.

“Doing day support, we might go out and watch films, play games, or go to art galleries and museums. Occasionally people will come back to my house for a meal and sometimes we visit my relatives together. Two of the people I support often come at the same time, so I can enable them to develop a friendship with each other too.”

Paul has also recently started providing short breaks. The first person to stay with him was Graham*, whose mum was in hospital.

“We walked to McDonalds with his social worker and had a cup of tea and I showed him a picture of my house, explaining that this was where he could stay while his mum was in hospital.”

“Although there wasn’t much direct conversation from him to me, when I was leaving the day centre on the day we met, he gripped my hand and asked: ‘when are you coming back?’.”

A few days later Graham and his family visited Paul’s home, and arranged the first short break.

“So far, it’s worked very well… After this first stay, we agreed to three future sets of dates”

Paul wasn’t brand new to this sort of work when he first started.

“My grandparents were foster carers for 34 years; they are my main inspiration for becoming a carer”.

And he in turn has become an inspiration for others. Two members of his family have also become registered Shared Lives carers, so they can provide support for each other.

“I can’t think of any other role apart from fostering which is more fulfilling; it doesn’t feel like a job at all.”

Paul still works elsewhere, but his priorities have shifted:

“Within the next year I’d like to leave there to become a full-time Shared Lives carer. Shared Lives is my priority.”

He loves the mix of freedom and purpose.

“In my previous jobs I had no choice who I worked with and when, whereas in Shared Lives I have a choice in both of these things.”

And the rewards run both ways:

“Although it’s our job to support others, sometimes those we support help us to discover positive things about ourselves. I’ve realised I can cook well when I put my mind to it and I’ve learned a lot about communication.”

Challenges do crop up – a conversation that stalls, a supported person who misses home – but, Paul says, “there is always a solution”, helped by his own close-knit family and the Shared Lives team at the end of the phone.

Paul’s long-term dream is to move to a larger house so he can welcome people to live with him full-time. For now, day support and short breaks give him the flexibility he needs and the fulfilment he craved.

“When you care about those you are supporting and treating them as part of your family, everything just works out.”

Paul supports people through Persona Care and Support in Bury

*Name changed to protect privacy.

If you have spare daytime hours, a welcoming home, and the desire to make everyday life brighter for someone else, Shared Lives could fit around your life too.

Find out more at startyoursharedlife.today.