How Shared Lives transforms lives for people with dementia: Val’s story

Val, 84, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s two years ago. She lives with her husband Tony, 87, who has become her primary carer. The couple has been married for 63 years, and as Val’s abilities have declined, Tony has taken on all the household tasks.

A year after Val’s diagnosis, it became clear that they needed more support. That’s when they were introduced to Shared Lives Moray. Through a careful matching process, Val was introduced to Ann, a Shared Lives carer who shares her love of coffee outings, shopping, and gardening. The experience was so positive that Val was soon matched with a second carer, Lisa, for an additional day each week.

For Val, time with Ann and Lisa is more than just a break from home – it’s a chance to stay connected with her interests and maintain a sense of independence.

Ann and Val often attend the B.A.L.L. group together, where Val enjoys the social side and the laughter they share. “The people in the group are really friendly and I like that I see them every week and we all look for each other,” Val says.

At Ann’s house, Val enjoys spending time in the garden and cuddling Bailey, Ann’s dog. With Lisa, Val goes window shopping, visits charity shops, and attends a craft group. “Lisa takes me to a craft group in the afternoon, and even though I’m limited as to what I can do because of arthritis in my hands, I like to see what everyone else is making and have a chat,” Val explains.

Time with Ann and Lisa has also become an opportunity for Val to build new friendships. “I feel good when I’ve been out with Ann and Lisa – I consider them as good friends now,” she says. “We have a good laugh and that lifts my spirits. Shared Lives gives me something to look forward to and I like to share what I’ve been up to with Tony.”

For Tony, Shared Lives has been a lifeline. “It gives me some headspace and time to relax which helps me to manage my caring role better. Before we had Shared Lives, I must admit, I was struggling. It gives me a good rest on the days that Val is out with her carers,” he shares. “I can unwind, or get jobs done without being questioned constantly.”

Tony knows Val is in safe, caring hands. “I feel safe in the knowledge that she is well cared for. Ann and Lisa have Val’s best interests at heart, and I don’t worry a

bout if she will come to any harm,” he says. “It also gives us something to talk about when she comes home after a day out.”

For Alison, Val and Tony’s daughter, Shared Lives has eased the strain on the whole family. Before, Tony was often frustrated, and the atmosphere at home was tense. “Now there are fewer days like that and it’s because Dad is getting that time to himself,” Alison explains. “The service really benefits both of them – and me!”

Alison has also seen positive changes in her mum’s mood. “Mum was bored in the house after being such a social butterfly and I felt it was starting to affect her mental health” she says. “Ann and Lisa are fantastic – she always looks forward to going out with them.”

She also notes the wider impact. “It’s great knowing that mum is in a safe pair of hands, not just for me but my brother too. He lives in the central belt of Scotland and can’t help with the day-to-day tasks, but mum tells him what she has been up to with her carers and it gives him peace of mind too.”

Diane McLeary, Shared Lives Officer at Health and Social Care Moray, has seen the impact of Shared Lives over her 13 years running the service. “A small sprinkle of Shared Lives hours goes a long way,” she says. “A bit of support and company allows people to live good lives and to potentially stay at home for longer.”

Diane highlights the value of the Shared Lives model. “It is a flexible model of care and support that can wrap around a person’s changing needs. The support from a carer who knows an individual well reduces risk and ensures their homes are safe and that outings fit each person’s current abilities,” she says.

Diane also emphasises how the model promotes independence and connection. “The interaction builds independence and confidence, leading to better overall mental health and wellbeing,’ she says. “Getting out promotes physical activity and this impacts on health and wellbeing. Time in the sunlight boosts mood and this is especially beneficial for people with dementia. Most importantly though, I see people having fun, connecting and living a full life, increasing their sense of self-worth.”

Shared Lives carers also support unpaid carers and families. “Service feedback tells us that this is something that is both beneficial and appreciated. Shared Lives carers often note early signs of decline and work with families, allocated workers, and professionals to find solutions,” Diane adds.

Training and support for carers are essential. “Shared Lives carers all have an induction and training to start and then we bolt on any other training that may later be needed to support specific individual needs,” she says. “We recently linked into our learning disabilities team, offering a bespoke session on dementia for people with a learning disability. Feedback was excellent.”

For families considering Shared Lives, Tony has one clear message: ‘I would say GO FOR IT! The carers are great – it’s a wonderful service and I’d be lost without it.”

Alison echoes this sentiment. “Shared Lives has had such a positive impact on my parents. For my parents, I would go as far as saying it was a life saver in regards to their mental health and well-being.”

This Dementia Action Week, Shared Lives Plus are launching ‘Live more’ – a national initiative to expand Shared Lives day support for people living with dementia and their families. Learn more and find out how you can get involved: Live more: growing Shared Lives for people living with dementia and their families.

If Val’s story has inspired you to become a Shared Lives carer, you can find out more at www.startyoursharedlife.today.

For more information about Dementia Action Week and how to recognise the symptoms of dementia, visit the Alzheimer’s Society website: Dementia Action Week.