Celebrating world social work month – Sue and Peter

Sue (62) and Peter (50) began as foster carers for siblings H (20) and T (18). As the siblings grew up, they chose to transition from foster care to Shared Lives care. Sue explains, “We built a strong relationship with them from childhood into young adulthood. We didn’t want to lose them, and we knew that they didn’t want to move on either.”  She adds, “The transition from foster care to Shared Lives was remarkably easy.  The process worked well, and we knew the system. It felt much more grown up!”

H and T require significant support. Sue and Peter help them with personal care prompts, emotional support, medical appointments and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Sue says, “There are many challenges. Some we have learnt to let go of, some we live with, and some we adapt to or ask for help with.” They manage T’s anxiety and anger with patience while providing H with consistent support. “Consistency is key”, Sue says. Their routine includes weekly trips into town for snacks and magazines to help build confidence and independence. The siblings also help in the kitchen with tasks like stirring and chopping. “They’ve learnt from cooking basics to preparing healthy meals, all while enjoying our chats,” Sue explains. “It’s where we do all our talking and where we all feel comfortable.”

Sue describes their approach to new experiences: “We spend a lot of time pre-teaching. We discuss and try out anything new until it feels safe. We take small steps that build into big rewards. We never force them to do anything, but we encourage activities that benefit their wellbeing.”

Outside of daily routines, the family enjoys walks, beach outings and trips to Wales with their dogs. “We have so many brilliant memories in Wales – times with the whole family and sometimes just me and H or T.” Sue says. “It’s a completely different way of life in Wales. We walk, swim and go on many adventures. Looking back at the photos over the years is amazing. I wouldn’t have had those memories without H and T, taking them away often and showing them the joy of being somewhere so lovely.”

Sue and Peter also encourage H and T to explore their creative interests. “T loves to write. I always read his work, no matter how challenging that can be.  I encourage his writing because it makes him happy and proud.  H loves road trips and drawing. We buy her colouring books, and she spends hours drawing for others.”

After years together, Sue and Peter say H and T have taught them a lot. “They’ve taught us so much! We’ve learned to watch and listen, developed endless patience and matched our pace to theirs.  They’ve taught us respect, kindness and to be more accepting. They’ve also made us care and fight for what they need by just being themselves and having no shame in that. They show us that making mistakes is ok and to let go of things that don’t really matter.”

She adds, “We teach by example—kindness, respect, tolerance, cooking, shopping, self-care, and safety. Our goal is to help them become as independent as possible, with self-respect and confidence.”

Sue sums up what she loves most about watching them grow: “Sometimes, one of them surprises you with something they say or do that’s so grown up, confident, or just plain amazing!”

“Being a Shared Lives carer is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. It has taught me so much and made me a better, stronger person.” Sue says. “Shared Lives gives everyone more space and respect. You feel valued and important. Our young adults’ needs are met quickly and well, and being part of the Shared Lives community gives us a sense of belonging to something that truly matters.”

Sue explains the importance of intergenerational support through Shared Lives: “Shared Lives cuts through red tape, allowing families to stay together and support one another. By looking after H and T, they’ve also looked after me. Supporting young adults requires a different energy, an empathy and understanding. It’s about seeing them through the difficult transition into adulthood and allowing enough space to enable them to become more independent and confident whilst still being there for them.”

If Sue and Peter’s story has inspired you to become a Shared Lives carer, visit Start Your Shared Life Today

For more information on World Social Work Month, visit World Social Work Month 2025 | BASW