Date published: June 30, 2023
Supported Parenting in Shared Lives – have you considered it?
Take a moment to think of all the children in your life; children in your immediate and wider family, friends’ children, colleagues’ children, any children you work with. Can you imagine a world where half of those children were removed from their parent’s care? Did you know that between 40-60% of parents with a learning disability will have their children removed from their care due to concerns over risk.
Read our Supported Parenting evaluation report:
When we think about this in the context of children and families that we know personally, it’s like imagining a dystopian film, something so far out that it simply couldn’t happen; yet this is the reality for parents with a learning disability.
Policy across the UK talks about providing people with the appropriate support they need to parent, but often the support that exists for parents isn’t inclusive or accessible to people with a learning disability. A lack of inclusive support isn’t the only barrier to parents with a learning disability, other people’s attitudes and prejudice play a major role. All families need help at time to navigate difficult times, parents with a learning disability are no different and should have access to support to ensure that their child’s right to family life is upheld.
Our Ambassador, Heather, lives in Shared Lives and explains that as a young woman wanting a family, she has faced discrimination from the outset.
“I was told by a previous social worker that if I ever get pregnant that the child will be taken away into foster care be adopted or I will have to get an abortion just because of my learning difficulties and being in care. But now in Shared Lives I feel supported in my choice of starting a family one day. “
For a year now, I have been working with The Promise Scotland, an organisation that has been established to drive forward the change needed identified within the Independent Care Review. The Independent Care Review listened to over 5,500 voices of the care community in Scotland and identified the need for transformational change in Scotland. The Promise, the output from the Independent Care Review, places family within its five foundations stating that “where a children are safe in their families and feel loved, they must stay” (p15, The Promise) Scotland has to ensure that all families have the support that need.
In Shared Lives a carer supports a parent, so that the parent can support their children. It differs from substituted parenting, where a professional takes on the parenting role. In Shared Lives a parent can move in with an approved Shared Lives carer and get the support they need to navigate parenthood; having someone on hand to help learn and practice the skills they need to care for their children, in a place that’s safe and supportive.
We’ve worked with parents themselves, as well as a wide range of professionals to create best practice guidance for Shared Lives. We have resources for Shared Lives providers, external professionals and parents with learning disabilities who are considering Shared Lives. This gives us a Scotland-wide approach to putting whole families at the heart of how we deliver Shared Lives for parents.
Our Ambassador, Abby, lives in Shared Lives with her 3 year old daughter Isabella and her carer Mel. Abby reflected on how Shared Lives helped her to parent well.
“I always looked after Isabella, I just needed Mel to guide me along, just having someone to be there. Mel offered suggestions, like talking about the need for routine. We come up with ideas together like what’s a good time for the baby to go to bed and reading stories to her. Isabella is thriving, she is so clever. She’s happy and cheerful.”
Children’s services professionals hold a heavy responsibility. When we hear about the consequences of neglected children, we all want to double down and scan for risk, but we need to ensure that looking out for children doesn’t discriminate against already marginalised groups. So it’s time for everyone to think about the options and ask- Have you considered Shared Lives to support parents with a learning disability?
Shared Lives offers parents with learning disabilities opportunities to identify their skills as well as areas they can improve. Above all, parents get the practical and emotional support, that all new parents should have. In many ways Shared Lives provides an incredibly ordinary approach to being a new mum or dad; it’s about being supported, in a place we call home, able to learn as we go, and find our feet in the life-long adventure that is parenting.
For more information on our Parenting Project, visit Supported Parenting in Scotland 22-23 – Shared Lives Plus or contact Ali Miller at alison@sharedlivesplus.org.uk
